Monday, September 14, 2009

Hunting

It's been a while since I last hunted, and I was getting pretty ravenous. While I was out looking for some unsuspecting animal, I ran into this dude named "Jack".
He told me he was also "hunting". Yeah, right Jack. Hunting with a golf club? What kind of damage are you gonna do with that? Anyway, he told me he needed some bacon for a new sandwich he's creating at his restaurant. Seems he's the owner of a chain of fast food joints around the United States. Hmm, never heard of him. Jack asked me what I was doing and I told him I was also on the hunt. He said he saw a pig in the bushes and was headed back out to get him. Jack said that I was more than welcome to join him on his hunt for the pig. I was considering taking him up on his offer, but then remembered that my girl, Linda, loves pigs! She has a rather large collection of pigs ... ceramic, stuffed, keychains, frames, you name it, she probably has it. Since Linda was my hostess, I didn't feel right about killing a pig. I went to find Jack to let him know that I wasn't joining him. I found him just as he was about to deliver the fatal blow with his golf club and told him that he shouldn't kill the pig, and that I would get him the bacon he so desperately needed.


Jack agreed so I ran back to Linda's place and grabbed the frozen bacon I found in her freezer. He'll never know where I got it from.
After giving the bacon to Jack, he thanked me and said that if I was ever in need of a fast food meal, to please look him up and he would take care of me. Uh, yeah, dude. Thanks. After rescuing Piggy, I decided to give him to Linda.
She was so very happy to get him that she gave me lots of hugs and kisses. That put me over the top. Being so close to fresh human blood and not being able to have it made me jump on the next animal I came in contact with ...

A donkey and a kangaroo dressed up as a tiger? Are you kidding me? Well, they both looked so tasty I couldn't decide ... but the kangaroo did have a little more meat on him, so I dove in and satisfied my craving ...




Ahhhh. Finally. Satisfied. For now ...

6 comments:

  1. The pig is so cute :) So glad you rescued the pig.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMGosh, I'm just snorting from laughing so hard -- Edward, Roo and Tigger?! LOL! When you're hungry, you're hungry, right! Super funny :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. HAHAHAHAHA...Best post yet! Glad Pooh wasn't in the hunt.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You do make me laugh out loud with this blog love stopping by

    Love Dawn xx

    Give the lovely Edward a kiss from when you see him xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL!! I am so glad that you saved Piggy Edward! Linda must love you even more!
    Hugs
    Jodi =)

    ReplyDelete